I thought I’d write to share with you the lessons from my latest buddhist meeting. I have practiced buddhism for more than 25 years now and the philosophy underpins my life and work. Last night I hosted a small introductory meeting for a few interested people and for a change, instead of a bit of pure buddhist philosophy as a discussion point, I thought I’d describe…how we can use buddhism to keep us focussed on realising our goals.

The reason I thought I’d do that is because, at this time of year, people are busy making new year’s resolutions and promptly breaking them after a few weeks or even months. The temptation is to then, not pick them up again or to convince yourself that you’ll make them happen another time when you are less stressed. The problem with that of couse, is that life is full of stress and unless you make time and focus your mind on what you want to achieve, there’ll be a thousand and one reasons why you will fail.

In addition, people are far too absolutist about what they are resolving to change. They put the bar far too high and then make it easy for themselves to fail. If you are to make a goal then you need to decide just what it is you want to achieve, and then systematically go about putting the steps in place to make it real. If it is smoking you want to quit, think of a strategy. Think out a plan that will take you through at least, the first 3 months of this change of habit. Just cutting it out and hoping for the best, is likely to fail. Working out what you will do instead of smoke, and how you will spend your saved money will help keep you focussed on your goals.

If your goals are bigger in the scale of things and involve a change of career, relationship or home, then you need to think very carefully about what you want and what you believe you can achieve. If you set your goals higher than you currently think you can achieve, then you need to have a clear strategy in place that ensures that you learn the skills to get where it is you want to go. Again, without a realistic strategy to keep you motivated, all your goals will be wishful thinking. If you find yourself failing, you’ll be able to say to yourself, yet again, ’see, I’m probably just not meant to do this or that’. The truth is much more simple. If you fail to plan, then in fact you are planning to fail.

So here are a few pointers:

• Write your goals down
  Make them clear. Paint a picture in your mind of what you want to achieve. Imagine you are already there. Imagine the benefits of being there. Imagine how you will feel with your success. Writing your goals down is the first act of commitment.
  
• Look at them every day
  This is where the buddhist practice comes in. I would chant with them on paper in front of me. But if you don’t chant, you need to look at them everyday. Just spend a couple of minutes reading them through and doing your best to imagine they are happening. All that separates you from them is time and effort.
  
• Study
  Buddhist study is about developing the self and becoming aware of your blind spots and limitations and being bigger than them. So for the lay person I would say, challenge yourself. Do self help things. Enrol on courses. Read as much about personal development as possible. Be prepared to learn and to change your ideas about yourself and your life. If you haven’t achieved your goals before now, then something seriously needs to change.
  
• Talk to others
  There is nothing so powerful than sharing your personal development with other people who are also on a journey of personal development. It often makes for a very creative and energising environment full of realisation and positivity. If your habit in the past has been to complain about things, hear yourself doing it. Banish complaint from your life. People want to be around others who are buoyant and who know where they are going and what they want. People that complain are telling the universe that they are a victim and that nothing they do works. It is a subtle energy but one that can ruin any goals you set for yourself. If you find your life peppered with complaint, seek out a professional who can help you clear your blocks and impasses.
  
• Meet with others with similar goals
  If you have just given up smoking, meet with others who have given up. Banish complaint. Look for the good in your joint experiences. If you are wanting to leave a relationship, make sure that you develop yourself so as to not repeat the same mistakes. There is nothing like a failed relationship to make us feel that there is no one out there for us. But if you develop your life, work on your personal development, who knows who you could attract into your life. One thing’s for sure. If you’re looking for someone else to make you happy, you are likely to fail. This kind of mindset is a huge responsibility for another person to have to carry. You need to come to a relationship with happiness to share, not with a gap that another person will fill. Meet with other people who are developing their lives. A great place to do that is on courses. And who knows who you might meet on a course? And if it’s a career change, then you need to find people who are already doing what you want to do. Listen and learn from them.
• Do something every day
  Doing something every day keeps the momentum going towards your goals. There is nothing so powerful than a shift of perspective for making huge changes in your lives. Shifts of perspective don’t just happen to us. It’s when we are striving to study and make changes that we see the world with fresh and open eyes.
  
• Take responsibility
  This is the trickiest to realise. Not taking responsibility is what complaint is all about. For example, if I can blame someone or something for my not achieving then I can stay exactly where I am. I don’t have to use my resources to think of a solution. I don’t have to make any efforts to succeed. I can just say that it was the fault of something or someone else. So I can stay nice and cosy in my little illusion that life is just too hard to change, and I’m better off just not rocking the boat. And I will probably have stomach problems and have a depressive personality. Well the loss of vitality, and the increased frustration and sadness has to go somewhere!
  

There are so many ways to stay focussed on what you want. But essentially, if you haven’t even committed them to paper, chances are your aspirations will evaporate like dew on the morning grass in summer.

As you strive to put your goals into practice, the biggest benefit you will realise is the belief in your own personal power. This is an inconspicuous benefit that comes of being courageous and challenging your limitations. No one can make this journey for you. No one can tell you how the steps you will go through as you travel. But you will certainly expand yourself and learn much more than you bargained for. So why not start now. Make a commitment to yourself. In the words of Goethe

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Good luck everyone!

(c) Jenny Lynn, 2008. Reprints welcome so long as by-line and article are published intact and all links made live.

About Jenny Lynn
Jenny is an integrative psychotherapist, counsellor and hypnotherapist. That means, whatever personality or issue you present with, she can address appropriately and swiftly. She also offers short courses in personal development in a range of subjects both in person and now online and is available to give public talks having presented for MIND, Saffron Walden CMHT, Uttlesford NHS practice nurses, WEA, among others. She also offers specialist training to fellow professionals in the treatment of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME.

Jenny created The Open Mind Guide to enable many others to benefit from her no nonsense, practical yet sensitive advice and guidance. If you liked this article, then you’ll love the site! RSS the products page and the blog and keep informed of future developments.