I have seen countless women over the years with anxiety issues, some quite serious with heart palpitations and others heavily restricting their lives. And if you’ve already downloaded my Anxiety Guide and Meditations CD’s you’ll have a pretty good idea by now, what anxiety actually is! Yes, alot of people cannot put a finger on why they feel so anxious: and that’s because they’ve spent years trying to stifle unacceptable feelings so well that they can no longer recognise them. And I’ll explain below why these unacceptable feelings are perceived as anxiety.

And why might people stifle those feelings? Because the last time they expressed a difficult feeling freely, they were probably socialised to believe that it was wrong, ignorant or just plain selfish. And women very likely get those messages alot more frequently than men. Women are meant to be kind, compassionate, caring, considerate: the nurturers that are expected to look after others. Looking after others is diametrically opposed to being selfish. Get my drift?

Once in a marriage or a long term relationship, many women carry on stifling all those unacceptable feelings, pushing them down right into their boots till they’re no longer recognisable. Anxious people usually have a big social conscience and a sense of fairness that excludes themselves. That means they’ll put up with bad behaviour from their partners or put their partners first to the exclusion of themselves. And all those feelings that they just wished their partners would just be able to guess without them having to tell them get ignored. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.

No, they’re there ok. Unacceptable feelings threatening to burst out at any stage and ruin the idea we have about ourselves. Ruin our idea of fairness and justice. No wonder we’re terrified of them. This is our anxiety.

Do something about it today. Go and download my Open Mind guide to Dealing with your Anxiety and the MP3′s that go with it. Alternatively, if you just fancy listening to the audios they’re still available on their own at £1.50 a track. Or if you’re quick you can have one of my 6 CD’s leftover for someone’s christmas present! Start early.

Tags: anxiety management, fears, phobias, unacceptable feelings